As you may have guessed, the Rev. Canon Edward Claude Essex‘ “Temptations of the Flesh” lecture (comparing types of women to shirt buttons), was what one might expect from a clergyman. The lowest button representing “for a good time, call …” And the top button represented a girl “who saved herself for her husband.” He and I both survived it, and my mother was pleased that I now had the proper perspective. But she continued to drop frequent warnings about feminine lures and plots to “catch a husband.” Truth be told, I wasn’t much of a catch — nerdy, gangling, no particular financial prospects, and incredibly immature.
As you may have figured out, my father regarded the Canon as something of a freeloader, but my mother was honored that he chose to spend so much time with us. She would use the occasions to hold large family picnics so as many relatives as possible could meet him (and vice versa). And she would arrange speaking gigs for him.
(That photo does not do justice to how shaggy his eyebrows were. But perhaps I am thinking of later years.)
But what makes him so memorable? I was an impressionable teen and he seemed so exotic — almost a creature from a different world. All the mystique of Cambridge University for one. And he could discuss any topics I brought up.
RANDOM RECOLLECTIONS.
You know how embarrassed teenagers are by their parents’ behavior. I would feel very embarrassed by my mother’s penchant for showing him “old” things. The part of NY State we lived in wasn’t settled until after the Rev. War.But there were a lot of buildings pre-1850, and a few pre-1800. My mother would have my father drive us all over so that she could show the Canon “old” things. I was very embarrassed because I knew he was used to seeing buildings from Norman times and even some from Roman times. But he was a great guest and was always duly impressed. I think it was more than just “being polite.” Politeness can be “formulaic,” that is following a formula, or set of rules, but with little or no genuine caring. Looking back on it, I think the key is that he was gracious. He was kind because he genuinely cared about people.
One of his strengths is that he was an excellent listener. He was willing to discuss any topic I wished, for as long as I wished, without any apparent impatience. And he listened carefully and respectfully. We covered so many topics in our conversations and correspondence.
Once, when my mother was making a roast, he made Yorkshire pudding to go with it. (Or perhaps he merely supervised her making it, I can’t remember.) I’d never had it before, found it delicious, and have not encountered its equal since then. But his attempt to introduce us to one of his favorites, broad beans, failed. In my hierarchy, butter beans are larger than Lima beans, and broad beans are larger yet. And we found them rather tasteless.
He was 5 years younger than my grandmother (who lived with us), but somehow he represented antiquity and was its spokesman.
He had never been camping (nor had I), so my eldest brother, “Tom,” took us tent camping at Lewey Lake in the Adirondacks. It was my first encounter with loons. Their sounds woke me up. I was sure some woman was being murdered! If you’ve never heard one, please click on the sounds link.)
I fear I haven’t done him justice. He was a very good public speaker. Some of the lectures he gave in England were endowed, and it was an honor to be chosen to give them.
One of the qualities he had, which I haven’t touched on, was what my mother called “presence.” That is to say that you knew if he was present in a room.
At least you got some glimpses of what he was like.
Here are some other pages he or his father are mentioned on:
1855 https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/LtrPeterCEssex2PhebeHoyt1885.html
1885 https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/LtrMabelMaryEssex18851015.html
1894 https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/ReunionMinutes1894.html
1937 https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/LtrJosWBuck2MabelShaw.html
1947 https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/ClipE_C_Essex1947_US_Visit.html
1953 (sister Eva) https://www.campbellluggblackwell.com/CampbellCemListForeign.html
He sound’s mesmerizing! Not unlike his descendant. These posts encompass what really interests me—family history rather than mere genealogy. When I worked at the National Archives, my job was to write articles and run workshops where I taught genealogists how to use Federal Records to find out more about their ancestors. Fascinating! And I developed enormous admiration for genealogists, who not only researched their own families, but discovered and preserved the historical record.